I think I am morally bankrupt
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
