Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
