I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
