Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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