Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it glows. i had to have it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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