Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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