Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
