bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
