im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
