Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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