i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
