I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
