I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
