me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
