Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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