I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
