Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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