Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
