One girl and one boy is just not enough.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
