Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Randomize
