I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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