I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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