Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
