Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
