She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
