finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
