then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
