A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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