the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
