You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
