grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
