the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
