hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize