I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
