i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
