is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You are a genius and a whore.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
