Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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