we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
