Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
