Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
