My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
