Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dicks are not precious.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
