I am in a vortex of obligation.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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