Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
