is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
