So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
