the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
