come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
