I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
