I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
