Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
