no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
