he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
